dndshs | [LOG] Don't look at me

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[LOG] Don't look at me

Who: Havi and Cassidy
What: Cassidy wants to die #2
When: After Cassidy and Areli's fun day as friends in the city
Where: dorm room A3-3

Cassidy came back into the room without looking at his room mate. He walked in and dropped his motorcycle helmet on the ground right after he weakly shoved the door closed. The helmet rolled CLEARLY onto Havi's side of the room. He didn't even care.

He walked straight at his bed and collapsed face first into his pillow.

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Havi had been at his desk, back to the door as usual, when Cassidy had come back. He didn't actually look away from his computer monitor until the thump of the bike helmet hitting the carpet startled him out of his focus. Only his eyes flicked towards his roommate, trying to inconspicuously gauge what the mood was here. He was exhausted, clearly; but physically or emotionally?

The room was quiet for a little too long, so Havi finally broke it with a ... hopefully innocent comment.

"Long day?" he asked, not actually wanting to know how long it was, but unsure what else to say.

Now Cassidy isn't good with talking to people about this sort of stuff, or talking in general.

He sat back up in bed and rubbed his face before starting to talk very quickly "Okay look if I asked you to go to the music store that would. that would, that's completely normal right?"

... What?

Havi couldn't help but squint at his computer screen - not really looking at the screen, but sure as hell not about to look anywhere else.

"Are you ..." He stopped himself before starting back over, aimlessly clicking around with his mouse. "I mean, sure, I guess?" He cleared his throat.

They ... didn't even like the same kind of music.

Cassidy went rigid and had to make sure to close his mouth that was just hanging open. Did his room mate... He DID. Havi just thought Cassidy asked him out on a d- FUCK

How fucking stupid was he.

Really fucking stupid.

"I yeah. We can go I mean we've been roo-we've known each other for a while and I don't even know what you l-listen to?"

He couldn't just say no that would be weird? Right? That would be weird. He was panicking.

"Just uh. If Areli comes by. I'm not here."

"Uhh."

The two of them never talk, so why was Cassidy ... he was trying so hard and it was so obvious, it almost ... kind of hurt? This was incredibly painful to be involved in? Is this what normal human interaction is supposed to be like?

"Yeah. I mean-- yeah, I suppose. I guess." A pause. "I listen to ... more alternative stuff, I guess you could call a lot of it indie." Havi pursed his lips, making clicking noises to calm his nerves. "I know it's not ... really what you listen to."

Then the Areli comment made him squint further.

"... Is he harassing you again?" Havi asked, not putting things together yet.

"I do like more than fall out boy you know." Cassidy was not feeling any better about talking to Havi. In fact trying to force a conversation definitely made this worse.

"A-Areli uh, fuck. Look he-god dammit-"

"he kissed me out of nowhere today"

Cassidy stopped himself from throwing his face into the pillow again. Barely.

"Oh." Ah. Well. This was.
This was not something he wanted to be discussing.

They definitely weren't looking at each other, but the topic took such a turn that continuing to (pretend to) mingle on his computer would probably be ... rude. So Havi at least looked in Cassidy's general direction.

"I take it that's ... bad?"

"I didn't-don't I think he thought we were on a date. But it wasn't I don't want to- He's a nice guy and all but I-"

Cassidy put his head in his hands again. He couldn't actually make eye contact with him "I don't want date him."

"Oh ..." was all Havi could muster. He really didn't want to talk about this with Cassidy - he wasn't good at these kind of talks.

The next ten seconds of silence seemed like an eternity, so he forced himself to muster a weak, "I'm ... sorry ..." He didn't sound very sorry (for Cassidy, anyway.)

It was super quiet and awkward now.

"I... fuck. Have you ever had someone ask you out and had to turn them down? I just never thought I would...."

"No, I ... can't say I've ever had to deal with that," Havi lied before the room was blanketed with another moment of silence.

"I mean," silence broken, "I don't think Areli is that interested in ... well, how much do you know about him? His ... you know, reputation?" He wasn't sure how to deliver this next part and hesitantly brought up his messenger program.

"Not a lot." Cassidy admitted "He's a cheerleader and part of the theater department, that's about it"

"I mean," he started, but then stopped. Why were they talking about this.

"I don't think-- I think he's really just-- I don't think turning him down is that big of a ... deal. For him." Havi shrugged sheepishly. "He seems less interested in the ... traditional aspects of relationships." A pause. "WELL. No, that's not true--"

He squinted at his own wording.

"I'm ... trying to say he's probably not going to be heartbroken. So you can ... rest easy. Also he tries to get with like ... everyone he thinks is cute. So ..."

"Not that I'm saying--!! You're ... not-- you know what I mean."

how are you supposed to tell if you're roomate is hitting on you.......

wait... are you still rooming with Havi???

yeah that's why it's weird

You know what. That was definitely more than Havi has ever said to Joaquin in 4 months of living together in just one sentence.

And everything in that? Yeah. He. Cassidy just.

He looked at his blank phone screen like there was something on it. Because this was taking a lot to process. Cassidy felt his stomach backflip as he went through 'i'm not gay why did areli kiss me' to 'oh fuck maybe he did actually want to date me' to 'no he just thought i was c-cute" to
no that's not right he just wanted to date clint and i was the second choice'.

"Maybe literally running away from him after him kissing me will make him think twice about just asking people out without knowing them first"

He opened his mouth to counter with something, but ... decided against it. Let's take this a different route.

"I think he just dates a little more ... casually ..." Havi spoke slowly, planning his wording a little better - then he laughed. "I guess if you ran he might back off, but no promises." Jokes are funny, right? Does this situation call for humor? Ugh.

"I mean, wait-- was it just a kiss on the cheek?" He was ... a little confused about Cassidy's apparent breakdown. Havi's (unfortunately) seen Cassidy ... with other people ... maybe that was just a one-time thing?

"Not. Not on the cheek" Cassidy rubbed his forehead. "I took my bike so I thought I'd be polite or whatever and walk him over to catch his bus. I just thought he wanted to go to the music store ugh"

cassidy just wanted to go to the music store.

Havi wasn't sure how else he was supposed to help this kid out.

"Well ... at least now he knows you aren't interested ... do you think you'll be hanging out with him again?"

"I- no after this it would be awkward" but not as fucking awkward as this "I think me freaking out and running... Fuck I don't think I can avoid him for two years"

Two years? That's overkill.

"I ... think that's a bit unrealistic," Havi sighed. "Do you have any classes with him?"

"Not this semester no... But If he, shows up or something I'm not here."

Avoiding this was not going to help Cassidy's situation, but it was highly unlikely the kid was going to follow his advice on the matter, so he just nodded.

"Yeah, I can do that."

I'M GONNA DIE

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[LOG] Don't look at me

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1/2 | this thread just started and it's already a TRAIN WRECK

2/2

Re: 2/2

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i imagine it's super quiet and awkward now

it is

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1/2

2/2

[text to oliver]

[text to cassidy]

Re: [text to cassidy]

FUCKING CHIRST

YOU STARTED THIS

YOU MADE IT BAD

IT WAS DESTINED TO BE BAD FROM THE START

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i hate cassidy

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[msg to Tanum]